


Just a Dream

by horlo246



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Out of Character, Song: Just a Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 17:38:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19977940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horlo246/pseuds/horlo246
Summary: Originally posted on ff.net; reposted with lyrics cut out.Based heavily on Carrie Underwood's Just a Dream; sort of (but not really) a prequel to Long Lost Husband.





	Just a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ff.net; reposted with lyrics cut out.
> 
> Based heavily on Carrie Underwood's Just a Dream; sort of (but not really) a prequel to Long Lost Husband.

It was only two weeks after the day I turned eighteen, half a year since I had last saw my fiancé, Jasper. We were supposed to get married today, but instead I'm going to his funeral. I found it ironically cruel that his funeral day is on the day that was supposed to be our wedding day. That what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, turned into the saddest.

I was supposed to come to the church today, with the box of letters he had sent, with something new and something blue. Dressed all in white, connecting my life with my Jasper's in every way, taking his last name.

But when the church doors opened, instead of everyone standing and turning to see me walk down the aisle to marry the man of my dreams, my childhood best friend, I put my black veil down, trying to hide the tears for Mrs. Whitlock's sake, for Mr. Whitlock's sake. I knew they wouldn't be able to handle seeing me in tears.

I couldn't believe it, please no! I heard the military band start playing and the dreams of my perfect wedding shattered into a million tiny pieces. The imaginary flowers I was supposed to be holding today fell out of my hand, and I tried hard not to sob out loud.

Jasper why did you have to leave me? I love you! Why did you have to go? You had promised me forever. Don't you know I count on your every word? I thought we were going to have forever, our very own happily ever after, and now I'll never know what could've been.

I felt like hyperventilating, everything looks so far away, like I was blended into the background, I saw who was supposed to be my mother-in-law, the woman that I'm already so close with that it felt like she is my mother, sobbing at the loss of her son. I wanted to comfort her, to sob with her, but my legs and arms refused to move.

I heard different people, complete strangers, saying that they couldn't believe this happened, that Jasper was such a nice kid, when really none of them ever knew the real him. He was much more than nice, he was amazing, spectacular, caring, beautiful…

I had mildly heard the preacher say to bow our heads and pray. I bowed and prayed, to beg god to not only lift his soul, to heal whatever damage had been done to him, both physically and mentally, to protect him until I could, but also to heal this family's pain. Everyone then stood without being told, and sang the most beautiful, and the most heartbreaking song I had ever heard, and my tears came back full force.

The same man who had handed me the government letter, taking me to my own personal hell, handed me a folded up American flag, I clung to it like my life depended on it. My life did depend on it, it was the only thing left connecting me to Jasper. That and all my dreams of what could have been.

Then the guns rang one last shot, the shot that felt like a bullet soaring through my heart, the shot that killed me completely.

I was back to asking myself, asking Jasper, what had I done to deserve this. To deserve him to leave. For him to be killed. I had seen myself happy on this day, finally married to the man who held my heart completely, and now I'll never know what it could've been like.

Once again my breath caught in my throat, I couldn't breathe. He's really gone. I felt hollow like my life wasn't with me anymore, and it wasn't. Jasper was my life. Everyone was offering their "I'm so sorry"s and "I know how you feel"s. I just wished they would leave me alone to drown in my sorrow. No, you don't know how we feel; you didn't lose the love of your life or your son. And no, you're not really sorry, you don't know what to feel sorry for, you don't know what 'sorry' feels like. If you did you would be in tears, unable to speak, not standing there saying "sorry", it's never enough to say you're sorry, it's never enough to say you care. Words mean nothing; it's your actions that would show exactly how you feel. I felt like I wasn't really there as all this was happening, it felt like I was watching a film.

My last thought before the blackness took over was _"Why me?"_


End file.
